I AM LEARNING AMERICAN ENGLISH

I am learning American English. I made the decision to do so after 3 encounters in my first month here, 2 at Albertsons supermarket and the other at Circuit City. The conversations went something like this:

Supermarket

Me: Hi. Could you tell me where the trolleys are?
Employee: Excuse me?
Me: Could you tell me where I can find a trolley?
Employee: Excuse me, Sir. I’m not getting you.
Me: You know, the things on wheels that we put our food in.
Employee: Oh, got ya. You mean the Carts.
Me: Yes, exactly, the Carts.
Employee: You can find them at 19 and the meat counter.
Me: I beg your pardon?
Employee: At 19 and the meat counter.
Me: I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t
eat meat anyway. Could you show me?
Employee: You bet. Follow me…….Here they are, Sir. Aisle 19, by the meat
counter.
Me: Oh, I see. Aisle 19. That’s great. Thanks a lot.
Employee: Did you find everything OK today, Sir?
Me: I’m sorry?
Employee: I was asking whether you found everything.
Me: Well, apart from Aisle 19, I haven’t looked for anything else
yet. But as you’ve asked, do you stock courgettes and aubergines?
Employee: Excuse me?
Me: Courgettes and aubergines. (I find out later that these
vegetables are known as zucchini squash and egg plant in the
U.S.)
Employee: Sorry Sir. I don’t know those items.
Me: It’s OK. Don’t worry. I’ll do some exploring and hopefully I’ll
spot them. Oh, by the way, can you point me towards the
Gents?
Employee: The Gents?
Me: The Men’s room. I need to have a pee.
Employee: Oh, the rest room. Yes, it’s at 12 and diet right.
Me: 12 and what?
Employee: Diet right.
Me: What is Diet right?
Employee: It’s our new diet right section, Sir. We’ve got like loads of pure zero drinks, like Diet Right (I checked it out and saw that right is spelt ‘rite`) Cola. There’s no calories, carbs, caffeine or sodium.

30 minutes later

Me: Excuse me. Are you in the queue?
Fellow customer: Excuse me?
Me: Are you in the queue?
Fellow customer: What was that?
Me: Are you waiting to pay at this till?
Fellow Customer: Till?
Me: The machine in which the money is kept.
Fellow Customer: Oh, got ya. The cash register.
Me: Yes, the cash register.
Fellow Customer: It’s only me in line here. You’re Lucky, man. Short lines today.
Been like that from the get-go according to a staff member.
Me: The get-go?
Fellow Customer: Yeh, you know, right from the start-up.

CIRCUIT CITY

Me: Excuse me. Can you tell me where to find the portable cassette
tape recorders and CD players?
Salesman: I’m sorry? Hit me with that one more time, would you?
Me: The portable machines on which you can play cassettes and CD
Players.
Salesman: Oh, I think you mean the boom boxes?
Me: Yes, it must be the boom boxes. Sounds right to me.
Salesman: You can find them on Aisle 22. Look out for
the new Sony Triple Loader X2500, I tell you man, you get
more bang for your buck with that than any other item in here.
Me: Bang what? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.
Salesman: Bang for your buck. You know, it’s like you win all ways. You
can really stretch those dollars out.
Me: OK, I get you. They are good value for money.
Salesman: Exactly, Sir. By the way, could I also suggest the new Nintendo
Nagasaki 101 Bunker Buster. That’s the next best buck banger.
Me: Umm. Not sure that really grabs me, but it’s worth knowing I
guess. Thanks.
Salesman: You bet. Have a great day, Sir. And remember. Let’s do it to
them before they do it to us.

You simply couldn’t make it up, could you? The above are just 3 examples of many similar exchanges. According to Bill Bryson in his book ‘The Mother Tongue’, there are some 4,000 words which are used differently in the two countries. Some are well known, for example, lift/elevator, dustbin/garbage can, biscuit/cookie. But others, such as cot/baby’s crib, flyover/vehicle overpass, fruit machine/one-armed bandit and coach/long-distance bus, less so.

Here are 6 other entries to be included in a new British English – American English dictionary, should anyone decide to compile one:
Br Eng-- Am Eng

Leeway-- Wiggle Room

Upgraded-- - Bumped up

Have you finished your meal yet?----Are you still working on that?

That’s fine-- That works

Upmarket-- Upscale

You’re free to go---You're all done/You're good to go

When I was teaching English as a Foreign Language in Turkey in the early 1990’s, I took over a class from an American colleague who originated from Virginia. The class could not understand a word I said. It was painful. It took a good 2 weeks for them to become accustomed to the timbre and pitch of my voice, but once they had done so, they seemed to like it. They asked me whether British English was better than American English. I replied that neither was better. It was simply what you were used to. I cannot deny that, deep down, there must have been an element of cultural snobbery within me which really believed that the Queen’s English (I am a staunch Republican, so no closet royalist jibes please) was incomparable to anything else.

Indeed, Bryson takes the British to task for their superior attitude to language. He points out that America has introduced many words and expressions to the English language that either never existed in Britain or were in common usage in Elizabethan England but then died out. Amongst the first category are words such as commuter, bedrock, snag, striptease, cold spell, gimmick, baby-sitter, soggy, telephone, radio, hangover, joyride and notify. Included within the second, are words such as to quit, to leaf through, maybe, fall (as in autumn), trash (as in rubbish, which was used in that sense by Shakespeare), mayhem, ragamuffin and homespun.

What do I think now after having lived in the States for almost 9 months? I have to say that I am quite enjoying some of the Americanisms, the 6 listed above amongst them. The Americans don’t do finesse, and some of the stuff they come out with can grate, but there is definitely something in the ‘Why use 8 words when you only need 2 to get the message across?` school of thought. And they do love their punchy alliterative phrases.

But give me time to bed down some more folks and sus out what is what over here in the good’ol desert. Innit!!